BP, with Shakeela and Tequila

The Bachelors Party (BP in short)

Members present - Balachander, Aravind

Ex- Members present - Naveen, Binoy

Drinks that flowed - J and B rare Whisky, Chivas Regal, Real Grape Juice, Mango Frooti.

Strippers - Venugopal and Shakila

Keeping in line with tradition, we changed the party venue a few times to ensure that unwanted creatures did not present their faces for the free booze and also Shakila's strip show.

The party started with some beautiful moves by Venugopal who stripped all the way to his underwear(Read Jatti) while we all cheered on for him to remove this last piece of clothing to symbolise his freedom from Bachelorhood, Venu backed off saying that he could not go all the way. But still Awesome show dude.

So once that was over, we all sat and poured out drinks Whisky for some and fruit juices for non drinkers, while we waited for Kerala Porn Queen of Several Years the one and only Shakila.

Shakila arrived with a bottle of Tequila. That was her gift for Venu. So we named the show "BP with Shakila and Tequila" What we did not realise, till late in the show was that Shakila is surely no Shakira and yes Hips don't Lie. We regretted the strip show, though Venu enjoyed it a lot. Why did you like her Venu? Is it because she fueled all your dirty fantasies? Since the rest did not want to see the stripping action, we got into a discussion if a woman's madippu can be co-related to her age

We finally devised a formula by which we can calculate the age of a woman by the number of Madippu she has on her hip.

If Madippu is m and age in years is x then

x = 5.725m

Balachander tried counting the number of Madippus Shakila has, he got lost in them and ended up losing his mind. So that made Shakila ageless. 2 guys(Names witheld) couldn't take the lethal combo, of unlimited Shakila madippu and unlimited Tequila shots. Too bad guys you missed out some of the action.

'Twas lots of fun for me. Ate good food at Mainland China. But I hated that guy who served us with a stupid smile on his face. The girl I saw when I stepped out of the elevator was hot. So hot that I burned my tongue.( I was drinking soup, thinking about her.) What did you think?

So that was a successful party organised by The Bachelor Club. I would like to thank the host Venugopal for arranging Shakila Chechi, the Amazing food at Mainland China and also the wonderful strip show in which we found out that Venugopal has an amazing pair of bazookas.

Cheers Venu, you are a wonderful sport man, you always take things in the right sense. This was probably the last time you saw Shakila Chechi nude. I know, you enjoyed her immensely. No more Bachelors party for you. No, I will not be letting you come for my parties in future. You have become an uncle now. And the next time you come visiting me, get me some nice chocolates.

P.S.: Yeah even though the post is Named the way it is named. I have kept references to Shakila and the Tequila to a bare minimum, because otherwise the truth would unleash a scandal.

P.P.S: Well, the secret, There was no Tequila or Shakila. But it is true that Venu stripped. He He He... Dai Sudarmani brand Jatti pottukittu enna attagasam panna...

Who is Venugopal?

Venu is my Brother and was an active member of "The Bachelors Club" He was the kid of the club, until he was kicked out ceremoniously on November 1st 2007.

Even though we KICKed him out literally he landed on his fat ass and did not whimper even a bit. "Kudos Mate" So in appreciation of the kicks that we gave him, he hosted this bachelor's party.

Other Related Posts

Jab they Shaadhied
When Venu Met Sonu

I Play Devil's Advocate

So I have these two Pictures in my bedroom. I am sure I was less than 3 years old when these pictures were snapped.

Mom saya "We(mom and aunt) wanted you to be dressed as Krishna and pose in Krishna poses. But what you did once we were at the studio was cry and make ruckus. So that's why we have a Krishna posing for the camera without his charismatic smile"

I say "I have always hated being under the limelight. Am not a very public person. So crying and making ruckus was to avoid that photo being taken. They say Children are God but I was negotiating the price of my soul, with Satan even then."

But whatever said "I love those childhood years,I really do."

P.S.: It is worth selling your soul to Satan. He is really a nice guy, just that we don't realize it.. For more details see these movies "The Devil's Advocate", "Bedazzled",and "Meet Joe Black"

Whisky in a Kukri

That's a picture of my object of pride for a few years now. "Whisky in a Kukri."

With *Bhevadas* as friends, what can I expect them to gift me with. Even though I have the occasional drop of alcohol, I keep away from it. I don't need it to run(or is it ruin) my life.

So that bottle in the picture was a gift from "Aafiser" Major Nandhagopal, who's in our army's artillery wing. Location is a secret(Matter of National Security) So this bro calls me one late night here is the Coversation we had

N Nandhagopal

A Aravind

N - Dai Sotta. Eppadi irruka da?

A - Hey bro, doing great man. Whassup with you?

N - Nothing much da. No work here. Just drinking my way to glory. No fighting with this neighbour. Infact I have been talking to my counterparts across the border for some time now.

A - Dai Indhiya Thaayoda perumaiya solluda avangakitta (Tell them Mother India's greatness). Am glad you are interacting with them. Have you learnt their Language?

N - No No. I am teaching them **Madras Bashai** They seem to pick it up fast. Planning to make that side of the border into a "Little Chennai."

A - Very happy da. Chennai culture should spread far and wide. I am glad you are putting some efforts in that direction.

N - Dai I am coming to Chennai da.What do you want from here?

A - Machan, I have not seen snow in my life. Can you get me some snow?

N - Sorry da. Not possible. Tell you what, I will get you Quarter Whisky.

A - Machan, ****Manamgetta Monitoraa?**** Has it followed you all the way there. Adha kudicha Liverosis vandhu sethudiven da.

N - No No, What I am getting is 100 times more potent than that.

A - Ayyo so I can't drink it then. What's the use?

N - No da sotta,it is Whisky in a Kukri. Kukri is that knife used by Gorkhas.And No, you shouldn't drink it. You can keep it, and later it will become Vintage Whisky. It is an investment for your old age.

A - Oh cool da machan. I can display it in my room then. And yeah probably sell it when I am old.

N - Yeah, but you have to promise that you will not even have a whiff of it.

A - Gawd Pramise Machan.

N - Ok , Since I am coming on vacation, you take few days off and we will go visit our professors in Harvard.

A - No problem machan. Come fast. We will party all night and then spend the mornings with ***Kaameshwari***.

N - Ok da, sotta. By, BY

A - Take care Bro, Bye.

Some P.S.'s

* Bhevadas - No not Devadas, Even though he was a Bhevada. Bhevadas is Hindi for drunkards.

** Madras Bashai - Is Tamil which is spoken by people in Chennai. You might need a dictionary to understand what's being said. It's a mixture of several languages including Hindi. (Hear ye, my fellow rascist men and women from North India, We are not against Hindi.) Will explain the nuances of the language in another post.

***Kaameshwari is not a mami turned call girl. That's the name of a mess in West Mambalam which has served us piping hot filter Kaapi and kept us very happy.

****Manamgetta Monitor - Literally translated it means Respectless Monitor. Monitor (for those of you who have not drunk your way to the top) is a brand of whisky which is one of the cheapest in the country. It was priced at Rs.40 for a Quarter between 1997 and 2000. Current price is just Rs.58. This brand makes some people's life worth living.

Price Courtesy : TASMAC

My closest friends call me sotta (Baldy). No, it does not offend me. I have never had any funny complex because I have no hair left on my head. I am happy I save a lot time, money and energy. Moreover I believe in what's inside my head, not what's outside my head.

Strangers who call me sotta, thinking they are being very funny, I call them pottai. So beware of what you call me. he he he.(Actually I don't care)

And are you wondering about my time in Harvard. Don't... I will explain that in another post.

Saroja Samaan Nikalo...

Who is Saroja? Why do I always keep saying Saroja Saman Nikalo? So many have wondered and a few have even asked me. So to all the ignorant people.

Saroja was my Girlfriend in a previous birth. And we had an live in relationship. But one day she was not very happy with the way things were going and she propsed to me. Gawd... Now thats a sin ain't it. So I told her "Saroja Saman Nikalo..." ( Saroja Pack your stuff...). Thats the story for you.

Well they say that Karma follows you birth after birth. (Karma is just the reaction to your action) So now I am not happy with any of the women I meet. They are simply not my kind. Chatter Boxes I hate. and Invariably most women I have met are such chatter boxes that a few minutes into the conversation I am wondering if it is a Dialogue or a Monologue I am having. And women are surely not attracted to a person who is bald, has his ears pierced and thinks he is GOD.

So women hate me. It has been a given in my life till now. Some of my girl friends found a small part of me which they thought was a good person and thought they could find my lost soul, but sorry people. I have never been completely true with any one girl in particular.

Yeah, It is fun, when you have sold out to SATAN.

Welcome to the Layer Cake

You're born, you take shit.
Get out in the world, you take more shit.
Climb a little higher, you take less shit.
Until one day, you're in the rarefied atmosphere,
And you've forgotten, what shit even looks like.
Welcome to the Layer Cake.

From the movie Layer Cake.

Greatness

Be not afraid of greatness, Some are born great, Some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them

Finally woke up

As a child my sleep pattern was awesome. I used to be up by 0500 hrs. But all the knowledge gained over the years has made me a very sleepy person. My parents have tried hard to help me change my erring ways, but the grownup in me does not want to listen to their words.

 

It was during my stay in Delhi that I experienced life and got to live it, the way I wanted to. I used to sleep when I wished and get up when I wanted to. There were days and nights, when I would skip the sleeping process. Somedays I just would not get out of bed.

 

My work nights were even better. Yeah, as the lions that prowl the night, I used to sometimes prowl even for three nights without a wink. I always needed to have a good hunt before I could rest.

 

I believe "Sleep is for the dead." So if I am mentally doing great, I don't need to sleep much. But with mental death all I want to do is, sleep sleep and just sleep.

 

So too much knowledge especially from books makes you a very sleepy person. Now I am trying hard to undo all that learning. Ctrl Z Ctrl Z Ctrl Z Ctrl Z... Finally waking up to the realities of life.

The Domesticated Night Owl

I have been a night eater most of my life. Just love to wake up in the middle of the night to eat dry fruits, cheese, maggi, biscuits, original Thirunelvelli Halwa,

 

I have tried to get rid of this habit but it has stuck on to me. It is supposedly a disease that is stress related and it is called Night Eating Syndrome ,NES in short.

Night eating syndrome signs and symptoms

* The person has little or no appetite for breakfast. Delays first meal for several hours after waking up. Is not hungry or is upset about how much was eaten the night before.

* Eats more food after dinner than during that meal.

* Eats more than half of daily food intake after dinner but before breakfast. May leave the bed to snack at night.

* This pattern has persisted for at least two months.

* Person feels tense, anxious, upset, or guilty while eating.

* NES is thought to be stress related and is often accompanied by depression. Especially at night the person may be moody, tense, anxious, nervous, agitated, etc.

* Has trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Wakes frequently and then often eats.

* Foods ingested are often carbohydrates: sugary and starch.

* Behavior is not like binge eating which is done in relatively short episodes. Night-eating syndrome involves continual eating throughout evening hours.

* This eating produces guilt and shame, not enjoyment.

 

Yeah so thats one cool way to have a syndrome. Yeah I seem to have most of the symptoms but I have never felt any guilt or shame about this. But then how do you get treated for this??? Any suggestions... I just finished eating some cheese and biscuits... I need help. Some one help me. Ha Ha Ha...