Drink Baby Drink...

This picture has a zillion words to tell me. I have to organize my thoughts before putting them down. So while I do that please leave your thoughts in the comments section, ofcourse.

 

And They Meet - Chennai Bloggers Meet

A Party for Chennai Bloggers will happen on May 17th 2008, in Chennai of course. But the exact venue has not been decided as of now. Just CLICK HERE to register . They have a set agenda similar to the Bengaluru and Pune Meet. So being there with an open mind would definitely help. Do I have any Expectations? NO!!!! Life rocks this way... Blogs Rock...

And for the record... This Bloggers Meet has been suggested by Lemonade.

Working's at the Cinemas

Life sometimes throws you funnies so fast that you really can't catch them on media. Wish I had cameras for eyes and a Solid State Drive for a Brain. It would ofcourse limit my capabilities but you got to trade something, right... It is a silly thought and it just came out of my brain.

 

Was at the movies today (Sathyam Cinemas, Movie Vantage Point) As i walked in doing my funny Sunday walk (which amuses people endlessly) I found a huge crowd waiting to get into the multiplex. But the fierce looking guard was doing what he did best, give fierce menancing looks.But me being a fearless boy went upto him and presented my ticket and told him I wanted to get in... He took a look at the ticket and refused to let me in, saying that the movie is only at 1615hrs and it is just 1600 hrs, then he asked me to step aside. So, the gentleman, that I am, I stepped aside and decided to wait. The minute that decision was made the same fierce looking guard made an announcement "All Santham Ticket holders can now enter." So I went to him presented my ticket once again and asked him "You just told me seconds back that I could not enter, why would you do that?" to which he replied "Saar I can wonly give entry at currict time" I was stumped. If a down the hierarchy, fierce looking guard is seconds conscious, is he funny or is he being stupid? Whatever he is? I felt like becoming the high priest and sacrificing him At the Altar. But at that moment all I did was shrug my shouders, winked at the girl who was right behind me(she thought I was blinking at her.) Later I overheard her conversing with her friend, in the lobby, about my incident with the guard and having a good laugh.

 

It was then that I realised that what had just happened to me, with the guard, was a rip-off from the final scenes of Meet The Parents. The scene where Ben Stiller is made to wait at the airport boarding point.

 

I am sure that it just shows us how a professionally run organisation can be really funny, Funny as in Stupid Funny. Now I have to figure out who to send this to at Satyam Cinemas...

No Weight On The Lap...

Madeela ganam illai...

The idea for this post was suggested by my dear friend/cousin Prabhu. He says "As a married man, I have let the skeletons out of my closet." i.e."Madeela Ganam Illa."

I hired Detective Wa Ching Yu from Osaka Moria, a country which is... (Oh I forgot I can't give you the exact location. Hint: It is an island in the Secret Japan Sea.) He was to give me a report if my cousin had any weight in his lap or not.

So after several months he gave me his report, I opened it while juggling my heart and eyeballs(gross!!!) on the tip of my tongue(Grosser!!!But Very talented,right?????) Was it going to be photos of him with his mistress, or maybe a secret rendez-vous with an old girlfriend or still worse pics and audio clippings of his alcholic ravings or maybe pictures of him killing the college boys next door. Now I was starting to sweat because of my tongue juggling act and decided to see what I had in my hand. My eyeballs tossed away from the tip of my tongue, when I looked at the pictures and I had a hard time putting my heart in it's place, they were just pictures of pussies. One Black pussy, One Brown and White mixed Pussy... I played the audio tape and all it had was some groaning and mewing sounds. I swear they sounded like tracks from the Group Type O Negative

I was really pissed off with Detective Wa Ching Yu. The guy had ripped me off monetarily and given me Pussy Photos. So after a bit of my own investigation into the issue, it was found out that my cousin was bringing up these young pussies as pets. But they seemed untamed. Infact the black pussy seemed to be staring at me, right out of the photo.

So since my plan to start a mini war between Him and His Wife failed due to lack Ganam in his madi, I have also had to stall my plans to replicate the same idea on a larger scale, to start World War 4 a.k.a. Nuclear Holocaust 1...

But I am watching him closely. I have even promised to buy his wife a "Jalli Karandi", so that he does not err in his ways. But he is a simple guy and his wife a smart girl so I hope she does not read this because that jalli karandi might be thrown at me, for my stalled plans to start WW4.

As for Detective Wa Ching Yu, I have hired Wa Ching Him to give me a report on his where abouts.

P and VP - This husband and wife pair are one amongst the few wonderful married couples I know. I wish them to enjoy life to it's fullest.(Shit!!! That sounded like I am rating them. I promise I did not wanna sound like that.)

Gabtun and the Space Shuttle...

Ever since I started liking our captain for his humor I have been wanting to go and interview him. So when I got an oppurtunity a few days back... I decided to make use of the knock on my door.

 

Issue was Captain's Arasangam team was refused to shoot at Chennai Airport. Captain was in a mixture of moods. It was fun watching him go through all of them.

 

Let's go to the interview...

 

A - Aravind

C V - Captain Vijaykanth

 

 

A - Yenna Captain ippadi panitanga???

 

C V - Naan NASA'la besi Space Shuttil'a Vaadagaiyuku eduka boren. Blus sum sooting in Houston, NASA base.

 

A - But captain, Space shuttle'a vaadagaiyuku kuduka maatanga and I doubt if they will even let you take a look at it...

 

C V - Adhu ennaku dheriyum. Nee romba overa besura, naan yen meesaiya murukinna...dheriyumla...

 

A - Ayyo andha padam paatha en veetu velakaran mental ayuttan.

 

C V - Dai neenga ellam enna gaeli bannunga da.Aana andha vaadaga sbase suttil'a otta Air Deccan Captain Gopinatha vellaiku vaika boren...

 

A - Ayyo, Vendam Avaru flight ottira captain...Pilot Captain

More over Neengalum Captain Avarum Captain Don't you think too many captains will crash land the plane.

 

C V - Dai naan Gabtun, avan Captain, indha vithyasame theriyama entrview edukka vandhiya.

 

At this point, captain got visibly angry. His left eyebrow and right eyebrow started dancing, His eyes started getting redder and avar left leg flight body maela vachi right leg'ala ennai sulati sulati adika try pannaru but he fell down and started wailing (it sounded like a gorilla and cat, sound remixed)

 

C V - Airport'la shooting dhan edukka vidala, adikavadhu vidalamla.

 

A - Sorry Gabtun enna yellam adika mudiyadhu, yenna ennaku unga sulati sulati adikra technique theriyum.Ha ha ha

Thanks for the interview Captain... oh sorry Gabtun...

 

C V - Yen da, enna romba feel banna vaikira. AAUNnnn...

The Bald Story - Final Parting

Click Here if you have not read The Bald Story - Part 1

...Contd

So Several Doctors later,having been through a lot of medicines, nurses (fantasies ha ha ha), hospitals, and clinics I put my foot down and told my parents that I preferred my bald look. They were not very happy about it. But because of the fact that I lived 2200 kms away from them they could not do much.

So those who know me from my Delhi days, know me as Aravind with head clean shaven. Well, I did realize though that shaving my head on a daily basis was proving to be expensive, so got a barber kit, and taught myself to shave.

Finally when I shifted base to Chennai and started living with my parents, I was forced to have my present look.(I rebelled for 4 years) Me and my Amma had this conversation one Sunday in 2007

A - Me

M - Amma (My Mom)

A - Amma naan innaiku poi mottai adikha poren...

M - Dai, onnum vendam. gammunu iru. Indha mudiya ponnu veetukaranga kitta kamikanum.

A - Ennadhu, Indha chinna vayasula ennaku kalyanama???

M - Dai Ponnu veetila irundhu, ona paaka varanga.

A - Eppo?

M - Ippo...

A - Ayyo!!!!

M - So readya irru...

A - Yenkitta yen sollala.(giving my mom my best pavam look, but that look turned out to be worse than Goundamani's romantic look)

Now I was shit scared. My thoughts at that moment... I will get sacrificed...sorry... married At The Altar and then become a henpecked husband. (Since I don't eat hens, I don't take kindly to "henpeckings") OMG I can't be getting jittery like this. Dai Aravind you have to turn the table... So I told my Amma

A - Seri ma, naan mottai ellam adikala.But what time will those people be visiting us?

M - At 1000 hrs.

A - Confirmed dhana. No changes.

M - OK they said around 1000hrs.Please don't give them your punctuality talk if they are late.

A - No ma will not do anything like that.I am going to have my bath. Please call me when they arrive. Don't disturb me before that.

M - Dai nee pesaradha paatha, ennamo plan pannra madhiri theriyudhu.

(She has noticed the change in my tone. And has also realised that I am agreeing to whatever she says)

A - OK please disturb pannadhinga.

M - Seri da poi kuli.

A - OK bye... bye...

(Entered my room and locked the door)

I was inside till about 12 noon. Had to even skip breakfast.I really wanted to tell those ponnu veetukaranga that 12 noon is not around 1000hrs. But when my mom saw me she was so stunned... I mean, she could'nt believe her eyes...But it was too late for anything to be done to fix it. He He He...

What did I do?No I had not done anything illegal, just shaved off my mustachio and left my goatee intact...There were some wild whisperings among the visitors, that I had embraced Islam... Some even whispered about how my locality was filled with rowdy elements.(Most of these ponnu pakradhu,mapillai pakaradhu is to eat good food.And make comments, which shows their ignorance) No one had much to say to me...( I had pulled it off again. Dai Nee Killadi da. No No Khiladiyon ka Khiladi.)